Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Wish I knew what I was doing.....

Well its end of term, that means report cards.

A card full of D's and E's. The reason? The teacher cannot get Hayden to do anything if she is not standing over him. No one-on-one? No work. He has been sent to the office numerous times over this.

I should warn you all that I am slightly inebriated as I write this. My heart is heavy and soul feels shattered that I do not know what to do or how to help my little man.

The occasional flash of brilliance leads people to think that he's manipulating the situation. No doubt that sometimes is true, however I will not believe that it is all manipulation. His brain seems to backfire a moment of brilliance to silence the critics at times.

I wish I knew what I was dealing with. I hate that I distance myself from him in order to keep a neutral perspective on it all. I hate that I'm screwing up his childhood by being so freaking paranoid that there is something wrong and I REALLY hate that no matter what, I cannot bring myself to ignore this mummy urge to protect him from everything out there.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Elle this is EXACTLY how I feel and even though we have a diagnosis for connor I STILL find it hard to cope and understand him!!! Some days are better than others and now that he is getting some help he is actually completing some work!!!! Although he today missed out on celebration day :( Just soooo frustrating when i don't know how to help him