Saturday, March 12, 2011

Sunday musings

Typing this from my android, so forgive me my typos (or at least credit me on Damn you auto correct).

I spoke to Hayden's swimming teachers about separating him and bubby during the lesson. There were only a few children in the class so hayden ended up getting a private lesson.

When asked to show his feet whilst kicking, he swam in circles to give her optimum viewing potential. When asked to swim a little deeper, I think that the titanic would have been closer to the surface than what he was.

It's exhausting, trying to work out how words will be interpreted by the lil general. Any request needs to be broken down to single steps.

I try and write about the lighter side to our lives, but its not always easy. I try hard to think that he is a special gift given to us for a reason, but the darker side of me wants to be able to blame someone and scream at them to fix it.

I blame myself for the most part. Not for him being the way he is, rather I'm mad at myself for not being smart enough to understand my own son.


  1. Oh honey. I don't know what to say, but I can't not say anything.

    You are NOT "not smart enough". You are a WONDERFUL Mummy to Hayden and it is NOT your fault, nor his, that you struggle to communicate sometimes.

    *hugs*. I feel really clumsy writing this, but I wanted to reach out. You're awesome, k? :)

  2. you will understand him. Enjoy your learning - you will find deep and sometimes very inspirational words come from him. He will challenge you to the hilt, he will make you cry but he will make you think more than you ever thought you could. You and he will be fine, you know why? You are not scared of him, you are not running from how he is, you are wanting to learn. Trust in yourself and you'll do good xx

  3. Awww Elle, I think we all blame ourselves for anything that isn't quite perfect about our children. It's not your fault, nor is it his, but together you'll figure out what works for you to communicate.

    You're an amazing mom, and you both will get through this together, with a few bumps and hard bits along the way.

    HUGS and love from the other side of the world.